RSSCaption Contest, Joran Van der Sloot … Back to the Beach
CAPTION CONTEST
This was too amazing and too good to pass up on. After all the pain that the family has claimed that Joran Van der Sloot has been through, this is what he deems as socially acceptable.
Have at it … let’s keep it respectable. Ok, respectable as far as the subject matter you are referring to.
What is it they say about the size of one’s character …
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81 Responses to “Caption Contest, Joran Van der Sloot … Back to the Beach”
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Looks like JVDS is doing his best Bill Clinton imitations … I “feel your pain”
In the nude photo of urin vandercrap urin was very excited !!! He thought that he grew a pubic hair. This made urin very happy until the pubic hair pissed one day.
long live the urin8er
Why such a large grey area for such a tiny item to cover up????
“Hey, did someone say “how do you drug, rape and murder an innocent young girl AND get away with it? ooh, ooh I know, I know, I know….here’s what you do first…..first you gotta learn to lie r-e-a-l good. my daddy taught me how; he’s r-e-a-l good at it. then you………”
Joran the MORON………
forgive me. not much humor in it. is it?
“Joran van der Sloot photographed nude in Thailand while making gestures ridiculing Aruba. He was holding something that look like a penis, only smaller.”
the national geographic travel guide says of aruba: “there’s no there there”. the same applied to the sporter. or, as the old wendy’s advertisement asked, “where’s the beef”.
dennisintn
“In life it is important to rise to the occasion.”
One wonders if the number of straws in Joran’s drink (in the second photo) is an attempt to compensate ….
Let’s hope that the girl in the picture is acting undercover for someone.
Perhaps there is some connection between the first photo and the number of straws that are being sucked on in the second photo ….
But I’m sorry, there are depths to which we will not descend!
dennisintn…in Urin’s case, maybe it’s Tofu!
Joran: “Hey, Harvard University is well endowed. Why not me?”
The emperor wears no clothes!
Hey Aruba, this ones for you.
See it is only NOT the US that tracks Joran.
I think the tabloids purposely prouce this stuff to warn he general public.
LOL Joran why do you have your hand over your pp,
don’t want everyone to know what a LITTLE man you are?
Lookyyyy Mawwwww, NO HANDS!
look closer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WhEZV4Y3Js
-j4n
“ROOM SERVICE AT THE EAGLE BEACH HOTEL”
I can’t take credit for this as it was posted in another forum:
“At least MART has another photo of Joran for his wall”
Betcha that pic makes Marty’s
heart go all pitter pat!
dirt-bag
Joran is out of control. He will definately
put the rope around his own neck again but this time he will not get away.
You see he thinks he can say and do whatever he wants to and no one will lock him up (in a jail that is). It is only a matter of time.
He is a loose cannon and will entrap himself.
“Hey, I just drugged, raped, killed another chick, and had my daddy and his Aruban buddies get me out of my crimes….I’m going to DisneyWorld!”
“AHATA’s Newest Marketing Campaign – Come to Aruba, where the sun is always shining and our predators are active at night!”
Joran is living more and more on the edge. I think he must feel like a dog being hunted/tracked down…and his ego tells him to
keep on partying on. He has no boundaries and will self destruct. He will crash and hit the wall all on his own, because he is out of control!!
Justice for Natalee
DENNISINTN…ROFLMAO….WHERES THE BEEF…hahahahahahahahahaha
itsy bitsy teenie weannie with no bikini
one inch less and he could classify as a queen..
he cant pinch more than an inch!!
URINE SAYS
MY DADDY HAS ONE SMALLER THAN MINE.. I WAS THE LUCKY ONE:(
they say you can judge a mans peepee by the size of his shoes…
i think he got cheated
I THINK JORAN IS FLASHING HIS LITTLE PEEPEE … IN HOPES THAT A PLASTIC SURGEON WILL TAKE PITY ON HIM AND MAKE HIM A RECIPIENT FOR A STRETCH JOB
YES I AGREE TOTALY THAT HE IS RAGING OUT OF CONTROL.. AT THIS POINT HE ISNT EVEN LISTENING TO HIS PARENTS..
WHY SHOULD HE … THEY WERENT THE IDEAL ROLE MODELS … ITS A BIT TO LATE FOR THAT.. HE HOLDS NO LOYALTY TO ANYONE… HE IM SURE CURSES THEM OFF.. THAT IS UNTIL HE NEEDS MORE MONEY IN WHICH CASE HE PUTS ON THE CHARM FOR MOMMY DEAREST….
HE IS ARROGANT … HE LOVES TO TAUNT THE PARENTS OF NATALEE
HE IS PITIFUL…
ONE DAY HE IS GOING TO CROSS THE WRONG PERSON… BURN THEM FOR DRUGS, MONEY ETC …………
Natalee is in his head helping him to expose himself to the world of what a degenerate he is. Listen to the voices Joran before you finally lose it and throw yourself off a building!
misskatie #22…really funny play on words!
Sharon #20…sadly, I think Urin feels ABOVE the authorities. They are the dogs to him and he is the “master”. Fortunately for Urin, we see who the true “mongrel” is in this case.
Brenda
Getting away with murder……$$$$$$$$$
Hiring army of lawyers……..$$$$$$$$$
Partying on some fools money..6K Euro
.
.
Having your picture posted on the internet covering your itty bitty pipi with your index finger and thumb…………..PRICELESSS!!!!!
Hey, I’d like to send this zinga out
in Bon Dia’s general direction, if Miss Klaas
will allow. I log onto your site for LIE-RUBA
news once a day… everytime I log on,
I get blasted in
the face with some
the gayest 1940′s screamin’ “Lindy” dance music
I have ever heard before in muhhh liiiife!!!!
To make matters worse, you walloping,
9 foot Aruban f-tards have the sound on it
jacked up at right around the decibels of a
767 jet airliner in all out full flight!
Every dang morning, it causes me to almost drop
my coffee in my lap, and burn off my johnny good
times. I could just turn the speakers off in
advance, I guess… but it wouldn’t be as FUN
as reading you Aruban > UBER-POOZLES the
“riot act.”
You people are N-U-T-Z!!!!!!!
> Pine Nut
> Walnut
> Macadamia Nut
> Pistachio Nut
-Harlan Pepper, you stop namin’ nuts. -j4n
Ding … Ding… Ding
Calling Joe Tacopina, hey, here is Joran, remember you called him a model……………model what…..modeling a body of an old man. He needs to borrow one of mammy’s bras. Man Boobs…
Actually MISS U, he needs a bro..hahahahah
Ive got a good slogan…IM A LOSER BABY SO WHY DONT YOU KILL ME…
“Hey Rudy!!! I got your persona non grata right here, buddy!!!!!!!!!!”
What is it….K-Marts blue light special….!!!!
lol brenda
I couldnt resist…
doesnt matter if he has his zipper down
if the lil guy cant get up IT cant get out!!!!
HE CANT ESCAPE
We have all known that Joran possesses the manhood of a peanut. Here is the photo to prove it.
And THIS little piggy cried wee-wee-wee all the way home
The kid is such a daft pant load… I don’t
think he even contemplates the fact, that he is
a MAJOR TARGET. He is lucky she just pulled out
a camera to take some pictures. One day, someone
will dupe him and whip out a gat, and plug him
with three to his neck balloon. He’ll probably
be buck azz nekkid, smilin’ like a loon,
and holding his little nutty buddy
when he gets it!
-justice for nat!
BOYCOTT ARUBA
#9, roflmao, brenda, you’re probably right. tofu, and not much of it.
dennisintn
Perverted killer run amuck !
Maybe Urin’s new nickname should be “Wee Willie”?
(seriously, I work with a guy named Bill who goes by Will. We tease him and call him “wee willie” and it pisses him off!)
It’s pretty obvious he is already serving his life sentence in his head. How amazing the internet is, there is no place for a pariah (2 : one that is despised or rejected ) to hide anymore.
He is a strong argument for birth control.
Still, how long will Natalee’s family have to wait for justice?
It is so sad that Natalee Ann Holloway’s killer is working on his next victim. Joran Van der Sloot is sliding back to his old ways. Joran Van der Sloot is a real degenerate. I feel sorry for his mother, brother, and father. I believe Joran will kill again…
25. misskatie, “they say you can judge a mans peepee by the size of his shoes” “I think he got cheated”…for sure…
Karma… didn’t he LOOSE his shoes?…the night Natalee was killed?… what goes around, comes around?… mmm…
looks like he lost it all right… and I’m talking in more ways than one… He’s lost, and he’s lost it for sure…
I’m wondering if he ever met up with a Lorena Bobbitt… he’d have a hell of a time explaining that to his new girly friend…
The only reason you threw your shoes away is because they had blood on them….the only reason Kalpoe washed his car at 3AM is because it had blood on it…dirty rotten rapists…
Active and alive is Joran displaying his tinker toy and Natalee is dead………….you pig!!!!
Someday, somewhere you will meet another just like you and that will be the end of it…..
Paulus could do something to end the madness of Joran but he chooses not too…..
Still laughing at…
WHERE’S THE BEEF ???? hahahaha–good one.
Joran VDS = LOSER !!!!!!!!!!!! If that’s the best you got, Kid- you’re in a lot more trouble than you think! Whole lotta’ NOTHING going on there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-J4N
**~** SEA WORM 4 SALE !! **~**
Joran, when Pinnochio said your woody would get bigger when you lie, he meant your nose.
The other, well it just shrivels up and falls off, as you can see.
with all Joran’s drugs, liquor consumed it is a wonder that “anything rises to the occassion”
Greg, do not feel sorry for mamma and pappa Slut. They are the monsters who created one greater than themselves.
greg bear
you feel sorry for his father , mother and brothers!!
I wont sweat you because I know you are not fully informed…
I know you mean well but the fact is that when beth and dave were looking for natalee …pauulus and anita did not show any compassion and they showed no mercy to natalee the night they killed her!!! instead both parents lied covered up for him they protected their monster… they tried to make natalees family look bad..
I do not feel sorry for them one bit… they deserve to suffer for his actions because in reality they are responsible for not only bringing him into this world but also responsible for the monster he became…
EVIDENCED BY THE FACT THAT:
they are doing absolutely nothing at this point to prevent what happened to natalee to happen to anyone else.. they are just as crazy and screwed in the head as he is.if not more…trust me. if that was my son there is no way I could and would sit back and watch him destroy his life… as you can see that he is raging out of control .. maniac …..
does that sound like someone that has their life together? I dont think so!!
no job … no education.. no car…. all he has is his lifestyle and his daddys money…
what kind of parents can sit back and see history repeat itself… what normal parents..
THEY ARE PITIFUL!!
With regard to Joran and his disgusting father, Paulus Van der Sloot, many have said that “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”.
Thanks, Joran, for showing us that the Van der Sloot family tree doesn’t have apples.
Missing in Thailand: Joran’s penis!
(Lisa made me post that! LOL)
Nor does he have a stem for those wee little apples to hold on to… suppose that’s the finger in the air signaling to William Tell?…
Gelding could be an option…
he beareth bad fruit ~ time for grafting.. where’s Lorena?
ouch….
We have breaking news coming out of thailand!!!
WITNESSES ARE REPORTING THAT THEY SEEN A NAKED MALE ABOUT 19 OR 20ISH RUNNING NAKED INTO THE WATER
SEVERAL WITNESSES HAVE REPORTED SEEING A SHARK SWALLOWING WHAT APPEARED TO BE SOMETHING SMALL!!
as observers watched thru their binoculars in horror.. they realized that it was a small male penis … being spit out by the shark
observers stated that they heard the shark say
this is some rotten piece of meat !!
(THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT) lol lol
MissKatie you have to see this as a parent. His brother has nothing to do with this yet he looks just like Joran (like his twin). His mother gave birth to this degenerate killer. Do you think any mother wants to face up to that? (SHAME and GUILT) The father was protecting his son. I do feel he played a part in the cover up. As a judge or father he just flushed his life down the drain with bad judgement. Joran has destroyed his family, Hollaway family, and ARUBA. Maybe the family raised a degenerate killer? Or Joran is a bad seed?
THE DIARIO AND AMIGOE
PRINTED THIS IN THEIR NEWSPAPER RIGHT?
SO HIS PARENTS BOTH KNEW THIS WAS GOING ON.. THEY SEE THAT HE IS OUT OF CONTROL!!!
HE IS MAKING AN ASS OF HIMSELF AND THEM..!!!!
ARENT THEY EVEN TRYING TO STOP HIM..
DO THEY THINK ITS CUTE???
BECAUSE THERES NOTHING CUTE ABOUT RUNNING NAKED WITH A LIITLE PENIS …THROUGH THE STREETS…
THEY ARE JUST GONNA LET HIM FINISH DESTROYING HIS LIFE
RIGHT BEFORE THEIR EYES
OR IS IT………..
THAT HE IS AT THE POINT OF NO RETURN AND THEY JUST GAVE UP……..HES POSTAL
WHICH IS PITIFUL IF THEY DID JUST RUN WILD!!
THEY CREATED THIS MONSTER…
THATS WHAT PAUULUS GOT FOR FATHERS DAY
A SWIFT KICK IN THE ASS BY HIS DEMENTED SON!!!
what a disgusting family
like father like son
he is living what he was taught
the values they instilled in him
his character was molded at an early age by rotten parenting
this is the end result
and this is not over yet
its not over till the fat lady sings
and i dont think anita can sing!!!
THIS IS THE SON THEY WERE SO PROUD OF LOL
Joran, since you think you are king of the ocean you better look down again and then look behind you and see how the world knows you as the a** that you are.
About the size of a vienna sausage that has schribbled up in the Aruban sun…..
I wonder just how many brain cells he has got left….probably now in the minus stage….never had too many to begin with…
What a complete waste….and so is that old fart Ric Smid…..is his bank account bulging at the seams with loot….along with Taco Joe….!!!
MissKatie you should be a standup comedian
stick him in the shvan-shticka with a balloon pin.
maybe he is enemic?
toss a banana peel on the sidewalk.
fiberglass in his undies, and give him a bicycle
in morning traffic?
it really takes so little folks. -j4n
i meant ‘anemic’
…but moving on to words that
begin with the letter E.
How about an enima? Make it something light.
-j4n
Would it be possible to arrange a blind date for joran ,with Lorena Bobbit??? She could solve a lot of problems.
BOYCOTT ARUBA JUSTICE FOR NATALEE
LOL….Miss Katie and Brie…..you ladies make me laugh and smile…. ((hugs and shoutz out 2 all other cool Monkey Girlz & Boyz ))
#64-Esther-how is your Aruban friend, Don? Do I have the correct Esther?, there may be more than one on here, cannot recall. You know, the Don you pal around with down on the beaches smoking the wacky tabacky and doing the Merengue?? If you are not that Esther, I apologize.
BOYCOTT ARUBA TILL THEY DELIVER
***** JUSTICE 4 NAT ****
We Love You, Nat!! RIP Beth/Dave/Steve all the Holloway family, Tim Miller/All Equusearch Peeps—NOTHING BUT LOVE 4 YOU ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!
JORAN VDS, ANITA & EVIL PAULUS VDS, KALPOE BROTHERS, CROES,ETC ETC DOMPIG NAMES 2 LONG @ LIST–SO BASICALLY EVERY NASTY CORRUPT OFFICIAL ON THAT ISLAND THAT HAS DONE NOTHING BUT STAY IN DENIAL AND PROTECT YOUR RAPISTS AND MURDERERS—Sorry, Folks but you all get the big:
FU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#66 cont’d
Or perhaps we could even
give him an enema spelled
correctly?
Aw man, those are the worst.
I think I confused it with the spelling of
the word ‘enigma.’ That’s something that is
hard to explain or understand.
On second thought, we could give him an enigma
enema. Someone can just hold his big, doughy,
fat a$$ right up in the air… and we he keeps saying…
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
We’ll just calmly reply:
“Shut yerrrr friggin’ cake hole Joran the Moron,
we are gonna give ya an enema, and it’s an
enigma. We’re gonna find out when you do!”
-j4n
Carpe- LOL….keep going…lol Love it when you are on a tear….
K….time to stop messing around today and get some work done. Thanks for being you, Carpe.
P.S. You can’t ever leave the SM Devoted Fan Club you have so innocently amassed. (sp?)
JusticeforNatalee-Vicki— Know you are going to DC on June date…cannot make it- have family Wedding in Syracuse. I will email you or call. Thank you,Vicki for being you and all that you do. I hold on to the passion that you have instilled in all of us and I respect and admire your accomplishments so much. Thinking of you and although I cannot be there in person to protest, my heart and thoughts are with you all.
WE STAND BY THE GIRL AND HER FAMILY!!!!!!
New Girl from Boston (Gail)
-J4N
GREGG BARR
YUPP PAUULUS THEW HIS CAREER DOWN THE TUBE AND HIS SELF RESPECT IF EVER HE HAD ANY
TO COVERUP FOR A KILLER… JUST HOPE THE OTHER TWO BOYS DONT WANNA BE LIKE THEIR BIG BROTHER
HE IS SELF DESTRUCTING
IMAGINE HAVING TO SEE PICTURES OF THEIR SON .. RUNNING NAKED … BRAGGING ABOUT BEING KING OF THE OCEAN … CONTINOUSLY SEEKING THE LIMELIGHT..
REPEATED USE OF DRUGS AND ALCOHOL.. CHASING GIRLS… TRYING TO PROVE HE IS ALL THAT.. BUT REALY HE IS NOT
THINK HIS PARENTS ARE HORRIFIED
OR JUST USED TO IT
THEY ENABLED NOW THEY CANT DISABLE
HIM
I COULD SEE PAUULUS EYES IN HOROR AS HE SEEN PICTURES OF JORAN NAKED
HIS FIRST THOUGHTS PROBABLY WERE
NOW THE WHOLE WORLD WILL KNOW I TOOO HAVE A LIL SAUSAGE .. FATHER LIKE SON…
EXPOSED… LITTLE VIENNA WEENIES OF THE SLOOTS
While Carpe is busy with the enema let’s help him out…..sorry about the Drano spill on your d~~k….might as clean out the whole sewer….
“King of the ocean”…more like a sea monster… get out of the water Joran your causing a conservation hazard with waste material and polluting the water….besides that you are causing a major disturbance to all the sea life….
OOPS…meant to say….might as WELL clean out the whole sewer….
ARUBA IS GETTING AN ENEMA FROM CARPE
GOOD JOB CARPE… YOUR GONNA NEED LOTS OF ENEMAS…
CUZ THAT PLACE IS SO FULL OF CHIT
OOPS DID I SAY THAT:)
I bet Paulus breaks out in a flooding sweat every time Joran does something outrageous…
He probably is concerned that his sunny boy
would “acidentally” say something again that
will be incriminating…. and Paulus should be concerned because Joran is a loose canyon…
his ego is untamed…and
someday some situation, he will be like a Dutch dam bursting with incriminating evidence
that he murdered and he helped to dispose Natalee’s body. It is only a matter of time! My prediction!
PAAULUS
IS A SWEAT HOG
there’s a saying…
“if you ain’t Dutch, you ain’t much!”
He ain’t no Dutch(man) and he ain’t got much…(for sure)…
such an insult to humanity ~
PLEASE KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON, JORAN!!!
CAPTION
Grabbing his co*k and nutz, he yells:
They call me Joran Van der FOOT