US Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC) Says Key To Getting Out The Dem Vote Is ‘Sexting’ (VIDEO)

74 year old Democrat Representative Jim Clyburn from South Carolina has come up with a sure fire way to get out the Democrat vote in 2014 … SEXTING!!! I am almost certain Bill Clinton might agree.

From the The Daily Caller comes the third-ranking House Democrat’s appearance on C-SPAN, where REP. Jim Clyburn (D-SC) accidentally misspoke and used the word “sexting” instead of “texting”. Oops. Sorry Wonkette, but this is funny. Like you have never pointed and laughed at anyone before. Nothing like some good, clean, innocent humor.  Nothing mean intended here, obviously Rep. Clyburn not a big texter. However, with the problems facing the Democrats in 2014 thanks to Obama’s failures, sexting may be the only way to get out the vote.

“Use the tools that we have,” he said, according the Daily Caller’s clip of the appearance. “We’ve got great tools to communicate about everything else. We can text. What do we call it? Sexting. Let’s do some voting, organizing over the internet. We’ve got the tools. Let’s use them for a new massive movement that will make sure that we can have in November 2014 the kind of turnout at the polls that we had in 2012 in November.”

Anthony Weiner was not available for comment :-) .

VIDEO – TPM

UNREAL … White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest Has No Idea What Victory Over ISIS Looks Like

FEEL SAFE AMERICA … THE OBAMA WHITE HOUSE HAS NO IDEA WHAT VICTORY OVER ISIS LOOKS LIKE, THEN JOKES ABOUT IT.

White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest was asked a rather simple question today by Yahoo! News correspondent Olivier Knox, following President Obama’s ISIS speech last night, what “victory” over the Islamic State would look like and what “destroy” really means? Earnest replied with a joke, “I didn’t bring my Webster’s Dictionary up here.” WTF!!! Really, if ISIS and their destruction a laughing matter? How does one plan a strategy against a terror group like ISIS and not define what a victory is?  These are serious times and call for serious people. Sadly, we have nothing by jokes in the White House. It starts from the top and trickles down … these people are not serious and America should be scared as hell they are in charge.

There is a reason why Gallup poll now says that Republican party better able to protect United States than Democrats from terrorism, 55% to 32%.

NewsBusters:

REPORTER (according to the Washington Times Yahoo! News correspondent Olivier Knox), it was :What does victory look like here? You’ve talked about destroying ISIL, I honestly don’t know what that means. What does that mean?

JOSH EARNEST: I didn’t bring my Webster’s dictionary with me up here. We’ll, you know. It’s only –

REPORTER: Talking about that — I understood it when you said –

JOSH EARNEST: I think that’s a pretty illustrative phrase to describe the situation that we envision. We’ve talked about the threat that ISIL poses in the context of foreign fighters.

Pioneering Female Stand-Up Comic Icon Joan Rivers Dies at Age 81, Rest in Peace

How sad, one of the very most funny comedians ever has passed away … “CAN WE TALK HERE?”

Comedic icon Joan Rivers has passed away at the age of 81 at Mount Sinai Hospital in NYC from complications of surgery on her vocal cords. Joan Rivers was groundbreaking, edgy, unabashed, but most of all she was just funny as hell. On a person note she is and will always be one of my all-time favorites. Rivers said things that no one else would, but the way she delivered it was not mean. Her mocking of others was only outdone by her incredible self-deprecating humor. She was born Joan Alexandra Molinsky on June 8, 1933, in Brooklyn, NY to Russian immigrants. Joan Rivers got her big break in 1965 when she appeared on the Tonight Show. Then In 1983, after frequent appearances on Carson’s “Tonight Show,” she was designated the first permanent guest host. She certainly did break down barriers for women in comedy.

One of the best comments in describing Rivers was, “Comedians typically push the edge of the envelope, but Rivers proved time and again that she didn’t even see the envelope.” So very, very true. The world just became a little less funny.

Joan Rivers, a pioneering female stand-up comic and the queen of “Can We Talk?” gossip, has died, her daughter, Melissa Rivers, said Thursday. She was 81.

Rivers was undergoing surgery on her vocal cords at a clinic in New York City on Aug. 28 when she stopped breathing and had to be transported to Mount Sinai Hospital. Melissa Rivers and Joan Rivers’ 13-year-old grandson, Cooper, who live in Malibu, California, rushed to her bedside.

“My mother’s greatest joy in life was to make people laugh,” Melissa Rivers said in a statement. “Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon.”

Joan Rivers stand-up on The Tonight Show and hilarious monologue from 1984, must watch, she was just too, too funny.

TMZ – Hollywood Reacts to Joan Rivers’ Death.

Don Rickles — Our dear Joan is gone. Knowing her, working with he and enjoying the fun times of life with her was special. She will always be in our hearts.  She was a good friend to Barbara and I. Melissa, be strong and take care of your son Cooper.  Joan…we will miss you.

Gilbert Gottfried –  First Robin. Now Joan. The world just became a less funny place. RIP Joan Rivers.

Rob Schneider ?– #JoanRivers was thee trailblazer for ALL WOMEN COMICS WHO FOLLOWED!She proved a woman could be just as outrageous and as funny as the guys!

Joan Rivers returns to The Tonight Show. She had been banned from the show forever after she took a gig with Fox and went up against the comedic king Johnny Carson. Rivers first appeared on the Tonight Show 49 years ago, then was banned. However, Jimmy Fallon welcomed Joan Rivers and she explained why she was a little late as only Joan could.

Democrat Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid Doesn’t Think Asians Are Smarter Than Anyone Else, Can’t Tell Them Apart

 HARRY REID CAN’T TELL RIGHT FROM WONG …

On Friday speaking to the Asian Chamber of Commerce, Harry Reid (D-NV) joked about the stereo-type Asians and then some how thought it was okay to say that he could not keep his Wongs straight as they all looked alike. Are you kidding? Imagine what the fire storm would have been if he said the same thing about blacks? Imagine if these same comments were made by a Republican? There would not be calls for an apology, there would be cries for him to resign.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is making the rounds Friday after video surfaced of him cracking two jokes about Asians at a Las Vegas meeting.

Speaking to the Asian Chamber of Commerce, Reid joked about the stereotype regarding Asian intelligence.

“I don’t think you’re smarter than anyone else, but you’ve convinced a lot of us you are,” he said to chuckles.

Later, when someone mentioned a person with the last name “Wong,” Reid cracked: “One problem that I’ve had today is keeping my Wongs straight.”

National Review reminds us that the hypocrite Harry Reid was quick to go after his 2010 US Senate challenger Sharron Angle when she made an Asian joke:

While on the campaign trail in 2010, Reid criticized Republican challenger Sharron Angle for her own “Asian” comments. Angle came under fire for telling a group of Hispanic students that “some of you look a little more Asian to me.”

UPDATE I: Harry Reid apologizes to Asians over ‘Wong’ comment.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is apologizing for comments he made in “poor taste” about Asian people.

The apology was prompted by remarks he made Thursday to the Asian Chamber of Commerce in Las Vegas and after video was posted by conservative trackers.

On Friday, Reid offered a mea culpa: “My comments were in extremely poor taste and I apologize. Sometimes I say the wrong thing.”

Actor and Comic Robin Williams Dead at the Age of 63 from an Apparent Suicide …NA NU NA NU, Rest in Peace

How profoundly sad …

63 year old Robin Williams was found dead in his northern California home of an apparent suicide. According to the Marin County Sheriff’s Office, authorities found Williams’ body inside his home. Williams was found unresponsive, unconscious and not breathing.  The coroner suspects suicide due to asphyxia. Robin Williams had been battling severe depression of late.So very tragic that a man who made so many of us laugh, would suffer from such profound depression that it would cause him to take his life.

Ronin Williams

VIDEO – click on pic to watch Fox News

FOX News:

Oscar-winning actor and comedian Robin Williams, who dazzled in such wide-ranging dramatic and comedic roles as alien, nanny, therapist and cartoon genie during a four-decades long career, was found dead in his northern California home in a suspected suicide Monday. He was 63.

The Marin County Sheriff’s Department said in a statement that Williams was found unconscious and not breathing in his home around noon. The statement said the investigation into Williams’ death is ongoing, but the coroner “suspects the death to be a suicide due to asphyxia.”

A representative for Williams said in a statement the actor had been battling “severe depression of late.”

“This is a tragic and sudden loss,” Mara Buxbaum said. “The family respectfully asks for their privacy as they grieve during this very difficult time.”

The death of Robin Williams is truly like a death of so many childhood memories. So many great TV shows and movies. But the best of all was his brilliant comic ad-lib. I can remember Robin Williams from when he first came to our TV’s on Happy Days as Mork. This would in turn spin off into Mork & Mindy where he starred with Pam Dawber as an alien living in Bolder, CO. Williams starred in some of my favorite movies like The Bird Cage, Good Morning Vietnam, Good Will Hunting, August Rush, Moscow on the Hudson, The World According to Garp and Dead Poets Society.

Mork Meets The Fonz

Mork & Mindy: 1978 – 1982 (Season 2 Episode 2 Stark Raving Mork)

Good Morning Vietnam

Dead Poets Society – the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation; don’t resign to that…

Not only a great movie scene, but words to live by. “We much constantly look at things in a different way. Just when you think you know something, you have to look at it in a different way.”

Robin Williams Crazy First Appearance on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show

Why Can’t this Happen More Often … Singing Syrian, Jihadist, Muslim Terrorist Group Takfiri Get “Blown Up” at Party

The below VIDEO might be the best damn definition of poetic justice ever … it’s just too damn bad it does not happen more often.

A group of Syrian, singing  Jihadists had their party come to an abrupt end when one of the idiots forgot to take off their suicide bomb belt. Don’t ya love that when it happens? Some how I think there will be no virgins for you.  Needless to say the terror group  Takfiri will most likely in the future have a sign at the enterenace of their clubhouse that says, leave your bomb belt at the door.

Get ready for your feel good Video of the day!

From Sunday World:

A group of men from a Syrian based terrorist group called Takfiri were accidentally blown up when one of their gang forgot to take off his bomb belt.

The event, which has been described by media outlets as a “Jihadi office party”, was cut short by a huge explosion followed by screams of “Allahu akbar”.

Barack Obama & Vladimir Putin Phone Conversation on ‘The Tonight Show’ … Obamacare is a Joke in Russia, Too

Imagine a government forcing people to accept something that the majority of them don’t even want. In fact, what if 38.9% were in favor and 53.6% were against, or a -14.7% average of people were against what a government had forced on its people. Are we referring to Putin, Russia and Crimea? Hardly, we are talking about Barack Obama, Democrats and Obamacare. How bad is it when we can compare what Russia does to it’s citizens to that what those in power in America does to theirs?

From Jilly Fallon and The Tonight Show:

Obama - “Don’t you see what you’re doing though? You’re forcing people to accept something that the majority of them don’t even want.”
Putin – “Yes, in Russia we have word for this … Obamacare“.

Harold Ramis, Actor, Writer & Director Best-known for ‘Ghostbusters’, ‘Stripes’ and ‘Caddyshack’ is Dead at Age 69 … Rest in Peace

It is truly a sad day, one of my favorite actors, writers and directors of all times has passed away … Dr. Egon Spengler, Moe Green,  Russell Ziskey … Rest in Peace.

Harold Ramis passed away on Monday, February 24, 2014 surrounded by family in his North Shore Chicago home at 12:53 AM. Ramis, best known for his acting, writing and directing roles in such comedy classics as ‘Ghost Busters’, ‘Stripes’, and ‘Caddyshack’, died from complications from autoimmune inflammatory vasculitis, a rare disease that involves swelling of the blood vessels. Tragically, he was only 69. Long before Ramis became a household name in the movie ‘Stripes’ and ‘Ghostbusters’, Harold Ramis was fantastic on SCTV. I think I just dated myself. For those who think SNL was funny and cutting edge, SCTV had it beat by a mile. Not familiar with SCTV, it is the show that launched the comedic genius and careers of John Candy, Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara, Rick Moranis, Joe Flaherty, Dave Thomas and of course, the late Harold Ramis.

I can honestly say, the world will be a little less funny without him … Harold Ramis, Rest in Peace.

Harold Ramis (Moe Green) provides a PSA on warning signs of death … “So You’re Dead; Now What?”

Video reminder Hat Tip … Ed Driscoll

Ramis’ serious health struggles began in May 2010 with an infection that led to complications related to the autoimmune disease, his wife said. Ramis had to relearn to walk but suffered a relapse of the vasculitis in late 2011, said Laurel Ward, vice president of development at Ramis’ Ocean Pictures production company.

Harold Ramis not only may be the most successful comedy writer-director that Chicago has produced, but some wouldn’t even confine that statement to Chicago.

“Harold was clearly the most successful comedy writer-director of all time,” said Tim Kazurinsky, who followed Ramis at Second City and later became his friend. “The number of films that he has made that were successful, that were blockbusters, nobody comes close. Even in light in of that, he was more successful as a human being.”

Ramis’ career was still thriving in 1996, with “Groundhog Day” acquiring almost instant classic status upon its 1993 release and 1984′s “Ghostbusters” ranking among the highest-grossing comedies of all time, when he decided to move his family back to the Chicago area, where he grew up and had launched his career.

VIDEO – CNN

CNN:

Ramis died Monday morning in his Chicago-area home, the agency said.

For more than 40 years, Ramis was a leading figure in comedy. A veteran of the Second City troupe in his hometown of Chicago, he was a writer for “SCTV” and wrote or co-wrote the scripts for “National Lampoon’s Animal House” (1978), “Caddyshack” (1980), “Stripes” (1981), “Ghostbusters” (1984), “Groundhog Day” (1993) and “Analyze This” (1999).

The films often featured members of his generation of comedy talents — veterans of the National Lampoon’s recordings, “Saturday Night Live” and “Second City TV” — most notably Ramis’ old comedy colleague and fellow Chicagoan Bill Murray.

“Harold Ramis and I together did ‘The National Lampoon Show’ off-Broadway, ‘Meatballs,’ ‘Stripes,’ ‘Caddyshack,’ ‘Ghostbusters’ and ‘Groundhog Day.’ He earned his keep on this planet,” said Murray in a statement. “God bless him.”

Harold Ramis’ acting, writing and directing credits.

Harold Ramis was a man before his time as he proclaimed in the 1984 movie classic, Ghostbusters … “Print is Dead”.

On a personal note, what makes some one like Harold Ramis so brilliant a writer, director and actor is his works are timeless. There are no more movies that are quoted by people in everyday life than Animal House, Caddyshack, Ghostbusters, Stripes, Groundhog Day and Back to School and “that’s the fact Jack”.

Tell ‘em about the Twinkie

Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s sample, it would be a Twinkie… thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.

LOL … Jay Leno Makes Fun of Barack Obama’s Falling Approval Ratings Comparing Them to Nixon

How ironic that Jay Leno has never been funnier and NBC is parting ways with him …

Barack Obama is now the nightly fodder for late night comedy and the other night was no different. Jay Leno just shreds Obama’s falling job approval numbers and compares them to that of Ricard Nixon. OUCH! But wait, Jimmy Carter says, that’s not fair, if he had a 5th year, he is sure that he would be lower, ha, ha, ha!!! Many feel that Obama’s second term is Carter’s third term in office.

VIDEO via Free Beacon

Obama’s Current Approval Rating Is The Ugliest Since Nixon:

President Barack Obama is ending his fifth year in office with the lowest approval ratings at this point in the presidency since President Richard Nixon, according to a new Washington Post/ABC poll released Tuesday.

Obama’s approval rating in the poll stands at 43%. By comparison, President George W. Bush had a 47% approval rating at the end of the fifth year of his presidency. And all other Post-World War II presidents had approval ratings above 50% — with the exception of Nixon, who, amid the Watergate scandal, had a dreadful 29% approval rating.

Jay Leno Says: President Obama Promised Iran ‘If You Like Your Uranium, You Can Keep Your Uranium’ to Get Them to Sign Nuclear Deal

Exactly why is NBC getting rid of Jay Leno, he is hysterical …

Late night talk show host Jay Leno has finally figured out how President Barack Hussein Obama got Iran to sign the nuclear agreement.  He said during his monologue, “Well, apparently what got the Iranians to sign this deal was the promise from President Obama. He told the Iranians, if you like your uranium, you can keep your uranium”. Sadly, if this matter was not so serious and dangerous to the security of the United States and our allies, it might be even more funny.

From Washington Free Beacon:

JAY LENO: Well, apparently what got the Iranians to sign this deal was the promise from President Obama. He told the Iranians, if you like your uranium, you can keep your uranium. So, I don’t know. Well, President Obama’s approval rating is now down at the lowest point of his presidency. It’s down to 37%. In fact, here’s how bad it’s gotten. You know the Thanksgiving turkey he’s pardoning this week? The turkey said, no pictures. I don’t want pictures. [ laughter ]

Next Page →

Support Scared Monkeys! make a donation.

 
 
  • NEWS (breaking news alerts or news tips)
  • Red (comments)
  • Dugga (technical issues)
  • Dana (radio show comments)
  • Klaasend (blog and forum issues)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Close
E-mail It