Joran Van der Sloot Pool side Caption Contest


Joran Van der Sloot Caption Contest

Joran poolside

We provide the picture, you make the comment …

(There is nothing like a nice softball picture for a caption contest to hit out of the park)

If you liked this post, you may also like these:

  • Caption Contest, Joran Van der Sloot … Back to the Beach
  • Natalee Holloway Missing in Aruba … JVDS Caption Contest: This One is a Softball … Go at It
  • Scared Monkeys Caption Contest
  • Halloween Weekend Caption Contest
  • Aruba Caption Contest … You Make the Call

  • Comments

    70 Responses to “Joran Van der Sloot Pool side Caption Contest”

    1. Scared Monkeys on May 12th, 2007 7:56 am

      My alibi (lie) is “concete” solid. (JVDS)


      (sorry could not resist from starting it off)

    2. Scared Monkeys on May 12th, 2007 7:58 am

      “the best way to make a girl trust you (and not think you are a local beach bum) is to tell them you are a tourist also.” (JVDS)

      Oh wait, Joran really said that.


    3. Houston on May 12th, 2007 8:12 am

      I’m the Nightmare of Nightmare Island.

    4. Berry Kriesels on May 12th, 2007 8:27 am

      Is it really so hard to admit the poor lad got nothing to do with this whole deal.

      Jeezz Americans and obsessions.

      Any of you ever stood still and thought about what kind of impact this is to Joran his live up till now if it turns out he really is innocent?

    5. vicki on May 12th, 2007 8:58 am

      BERRY, are you for REAL….you want us to feel sorry for the BIG HEADED LIAR??? oh the poor sporter…I hope that he gets the creeping crude and his you know what falls off. I wish he would step in quick sand and slowly sink..I wish…oh my, let me stop. YEAH I feel sooooooo sorry for this loser..NOT! He is a FILTHY LIAR and has caused to much grief here on earth. He doesnt deserve to LIVE.

    6. robots on May 12th, 2007 9:10 am

      hi, my name is joran and i want to de director of the LIE FACTORY.

    7. robots on May 12th, 2007 9:11 am

      “a pimpin and a killin i will go, lets see how can i push the K2 brothers under the bus today”

    8. joe bear on May 12th, 2007 9:21 am

      geez.leave me alone,I am studying the theory of Chaos,in Science

    9. Richard on May 12th, 2007 9:28 am

      “Here I am, just like the Hollywood stars, sitting by my pool. Wonder if someone will use me in a movie?”

    10. diverboy on May 12th, 2007 9:51 am

      “Does my little head make my feet look to big?”

    11. JUAN on May 12th, 2007 9:53 am

      Hi my name is Urine….I like to drink, play poker,take long walks on the beach…. and if your lucky I will pick u to “go see sharks” and maybe just maybe I will drive you back to the hotel, oh yea that wont happen because well you know that whole rape and murder thing….hold on a minute let me go ask my DAD!!!

    12. JusticeforNatalee on May 12th, 2007 10:17 am

      Hey, Berry #4

      Do you have any daughters or nieces that you
      would like to fix up with Joran the Sporter?

      Make sure you tell them that the cops were recently digging for a
      young woman’s body in HIS YARD.

      P.S. We are proud to be obsessed with JUSTICE.

    13. Robert on May 12th, 2007 10:18 am

      “Hi daddy… Groeten uit Nederland. I’m gravely concerned soon we cannot lie about the pool any longer…”

    14. buckeye on May 12th, 2007 10:23 am

      “Paul says to dwell on the positive. If it wasn’t for me, we wouldn’t even have this new patio.”

    15. murph on May 12th, 2007 10:23 am

      Berry,Joran can not tell the truth.Have not read anything about this case.Why make up lie after lie after lie? You lie when you can not tell the truth.I was in Aruba for 3 weeks helping search for Natalee and watched first hand this pathological liar first hand. Innocent!! You have got to be kidding!

    16. buckeye on May 12th, 2007 10:25 am

      Continued from #14

      “I think the next girl should sit in that old chair. Ebay has a great patio set.”

    17. joe bear on May 12th, 2007 10:30 am

      What kind of crap is this book,Little Women,where is the rape and drugs

    18. JusticeforNatalee on May 12th, 2007 10:41 am


      “Dutch cops,

      Come and get me.
      I’m daring you.”

    19. Miss-Underestimated on May 12th, 2007 10:51 am

      Chapter 1.

      After a night of gambling and drinkin with daddy, while mommy was gone……

    20. joe bear on May 12th, 2007 11:02 am

      Bad boys,what you going to do when they come for you.SOON.I didn’t know you could drive underage,woops wrong again

    21. disgustedmom on May 12th, 2007 11:18 am

      Caption: *whines* Mommy, I need a better chair!

      This picture has always interested me. Who would take it and put it up on the web? It’s a dumb picture to put up on the web UNLESS it was done to ‘in your face’ the investigation. Makes a person wonder about that waterfall.

      Another picture that is equally dumb is the one of Joran and Paulus on the roof of their pool shed. I wonder if that one has significance too….like yeah, this is where we temporarily hid the body.

    22. Jerry from Ohio on May 12th, 2007 11:18 am

      Me ? “What am I doin ? What am I hiding behind the laptop ?”
      Duh !! Ugh ! Duh! Well Gee Nothing Mom Honest .

    23. vicki on May 12th, 2007 11:20 am

      How about” Catch me if you can”

    24. Robert on May 12th, 2007 11:48 am

      Dad-complicant. Don’t worry, the murderers-pool is lying low now. Me holding out with wireless porn…

    25. joe bear on May 12th, 2007 11:54 am

      Where is Paris,I mailed her an invite 3 months ago.I think she fits in well.She likes handcuffs,photo shots and strip searches.I could marry her

    26. hotshot on May 12th, 2007 12:15 pm

      Hmmmmm, I’ll just sit here, and they wont even think of digging up our new waterfall behind me. Who would be so stupid as to sit right next to where “the girl” is. It’s in PLAIN VIEW so the cops wont even think of looking here. Oh shoot, can I lie about that in my book too? Hey GRETA, I lied to you too, how do you like me now?

    27. Ralph on May 12th, 2007 12:36 pm

      You are probably wondering why my dad wanted this high wall built around the pool? heh, heh, heh.

    28. Robert on May 12th, 2007 12:44 pm

      Dear Mam and Dad.

      I love lying at the pool here; I think I was great I got us a reason to extend the terras… I always want to lie here. Saying that…. What I don’t understand lying here… Why did you ever let me go to school. You know, I always felt SICK IN THE HEAD but still you let me go to school!
      (This bluetooth-laptop gets me great porn by the way.)

    29. AZLady on May 12th, 2007 12:46 pm

      La-de-da…just sitting here smiling and typing on my laptop…what? under this chair? nah…nothing under this chair…

    30. diverboy on May 12th, 2007 1:01 pm

      This picture is proof that the sun does shine on an a**hole. Steve Croes has already proven that man can live without a brain. And the Kalpoes have proven that Hefty does make better trash bags. Aruba should be on Myth-busters.

    31. diverboy on May 12th, 2007 1:06 pm

      “Learn how to surf porn with one hand” by Joran Van Der Stool. Special technique bonus by Pee Wee Herman.

    32. diverboy on May 12th, 2007 1:28 pm

      “Drinking my own urine has made me lie…..and I like it!!!”

    33. Mohican on May 12th, 2007 1:36 pm

      Just showing what I have to hide what I lack.

    34. diverboy on May 12th, 2007 1:39 pm

      “Dear dutch police…its 6 am May 12 and the Kalpoes are about to destroy some evidence. They are heavily armed and said that they wont be taken alive. You need to hurry there before they leave. Just a concerned citizen. Regards, Jor..oops…I mean Cecilia.

    35. FL on May 12th, 2007 1:46 pm

      While I am writing a book about Natalee she is only 5 feet away from me …

    36. 10061906 on May 12th, 2007 1:49 pm

      There have been questions as to whether a mysterious phone call was placed and was it Natalee? Most revert back to her cell phone was left in the hotel with her passport and Natalee could not have placed that call. How could she have gotten a phone to make the call? It would seem easy. There are two cell phones. The one she left in her room. The room log shows she never returned. The other is the one she shared with Lee, Ruth and Madison. Either Natalee or her friends brought it with them to C and C’s. We know they had one and she is using it at the casino gambling table. Natalee was to have taken her driver’s liscense and $50.00. She may have also taken that phone to C and C’s and made the call from it: (” I don’t even know these people”). Was that phone ever turned in by Natalee’s friends. If not, it is possible that Natalee made that call from where she was being held. Remember the noise in the background that sounded like a monkey. Remember the VDS’ neighbor that was away and has a pet monkey.

      From Joran’s book it is evident that he and Deepak hung out because of Deepaks custom car. With a globe on the dash it could be mistaken for a taxi.
      Remember Deepak’s car was spotted by witness, who I might add cannot lie, at the VDS’s compound that morning.
      The neighbor in reference I believe is just over the wall
      where Joran is sitting.

    37. JusticeforNatalee on May 12th, 2007 1:54 pm


      “Hi, out there in TV Land. I’m the face of
      Aruba Tourism whether they like it or not.”

    38. justice4nat on May 12th, 2007 2:06 pm

      #35 – while your comment may be true…please remember that Natalee’s family and friends come to this website.

    39. KrisG on May 12th, 2007 2:17 pm

      You only think I’m typing behind this computer screen.


      I can type with one hand and diddle with the other!

    40. nychic on May 12th, 2007 2:21 pm

      Just On Fox News

      New Searching In Aruba

      Not At The Sloot’s Casa

      At Another House ?

      Story Coming Up

    41. Allan K on May 12th, 2007 2:22 pm

      I am guilty and you and your US politicians can not do anything about it. I will keep flaunting this in your face.
      American government will not help you.

    42. allank on May 12th, 2007 2:26 pm


      Saturday, May 12, 2007
      *** ALERT ***

      This morning at 7:00 a.m., a team of local policemen, accompanied by members of the Dutch team, went to the home of the Kalpoe brothers for the Dutch to further familiarize themselves with the area. Deepak and Satish resisted the action and were handcuffed and taken away by the local authorities accompanied by members of the Dutch team. The reporters of the DIARIO were the only ones present during this action, and we have exclusive photos of the temporary arrest for resisting an official action by the authorities. The Kalpoe brothers were brought back to the house one hour later. The authorities are now wrapping up the action and moving away from the area. Will keep you informed if and when things develop in a more specific direction.

      Posted by EasyWriter at 8:21 AM

    43. nychic on May 12th, 2007 2:45 pm

      According to Renfro

      Kalpukes Detained This Morning In Aruba
      House Searched -

      Possibly Released This Afternoon

    44. Skyboxx on May 12th, 2007 3:15 pm

      Well they “Searched the Kalpoe HOME” nearly two years after the fact….incredible…………….

      Have it on deep background that a Kalpoe may be cooperating with the poice. I have heard this before, so naturally I am skeptical. anyone else hear this?

    45. Meee on May 12th, 2007 3:25 pm

      MSNBC.COM has it under breaking news. Feel free to e-mail Kimberly at to ask her why the Dutch didn’t tear up the Van Der Sloot extended patio when they searched the house. The one that had been dug a few days after Natalee “Vanished” Got to figure she will be covering them going to the Kalpoe house? Has Jossy asked this same question in his paper yet? Hmmm the dutch are on the island. Looking for evidence. And Jossy is aware of the event Art Wood was talking about. But he hasn’t mentioned it in his paper?

    46. Meee on May 12th, 2007 3:27 pm

      Should have just left the link

    47. diverboy on May 12th, 2007 3:56 pm

      kalpoes..kalpoes…your master Joran is going to bury you under the jail…..still dont get it do you? enough of the bs already. joran calling you guys retards is an insult to people with dissabilities. Speaking of people with dissablities…Steve Croes….better start practicing…you are next big boy. The “I lied cause I’m stupid” aint going to cut the mustard. You still stupid…but wont cut the mustard. Sleep tight.

    48. Robert on May 12th, 2007 4:28 pm

      Joran – Sweating like hell (sweaty apples never fall far from a sweaty tree…): “Now you K2′s..: KEEP YOUR FACES SHUT!!! You may not know where I dumped her but you know it was I who dumped her! (Looking at wireless Google-earth, at the different crime-scenes, slowly getting more nervous and nervous not trusting the K2′s.)

    49. Robert on May 12th, 2007 4:37 pm

      By the way: I haven’t seen Jurine in ANY Dutch TV-show promoting his book since the day the house-search started. I think that’s good news as well! (At least I didn’t have to look at his face on my TVscreen the last 2 weeks!)

    50. katablog on May 12th, 2007 4:49 pm

      Oh Kalpoe brothers – you better be reading Joran’s book! Oh that’s right, you don’t read Dutch and he didn’t write it in your language – hmmmm, wonder why not.

      Well if you read English, let me tell you, he’s very unkind to Deepak – wonders why you never have a girlfriend.

      The one thing that should come out loud and clear to both of you is how good Joran is at lying. And believe me, IF the Dutch investigators find anything, I’m sure that Joran and Papa Sloot already have a story that blames the two of you for everything. Time to come clean boys. Dr. Phil is not your pot of gold. You are going to lose that one big time.

    51. katablog on May 12th, 2007 4:50 pm

      Caption Contest: Deepak and Satish you aren’t as smart as me. Papa and I already have you two set up to take the fall when it happens.

    52. pairofdivers on May 12th, 2007 5:51 pm

      10 years later…

      Reporter: Mr. Van Der Sloot, where is your wife?

      Joran: Huh? (looks over his shoulder) OH! I see. Yah, she was sitting here in chair a moment ago. I have no idea what happened to her. I just blew her kiss, too. I’ve just been working on laptop for several hours. You know, I am e-mailing my friends, so leave me, NOW.

    53. Columbo on May 12th, 2007 6:11 pm

      “Baby needs a new pair of shoes”

    54. Crioyo on May 12th, 2007 6:20 pm

      hey nychic,

      i read they were cuffed and taken to the station because they wanted to obstruct the viewing of their home and that they’d be taken back home when it was all done.

    55. peapod on May 12th, 2007 6:46 pm

      If still you think me mad, you will think so no longer when I describe the wise precautions I took for the concealment of the body. The night waned, and I worked hastily, but in silence.

      I took up three planks from the flooring of the chamber, and deposited all between the scantlings. I then replaced the boards so cleverly so cunningly, that no human eye — not even his — could have detected anything wrong. There was nothing to wash out — no stain of any kind — no blood-spot whatever. I had been too wary for that.

      (Excerpt from Edgar Allen Poes “Tell-Tale Heart”

    56. Telly on May 12th, 2007 7:05 pm

      (Thinking)She is halfway to panama by now,,What should I do with the advance from this book I bought?Maybe I should invest in real estate since the prices have gone down, now that those obnoxious Americans no longer come here.Thanks a million monkeys!

    57. nychic on May 12th, 2007 7:07 pm

      Hey Crioyo -

      Where did you read this ?

      Anything else Interesting In The Article ?

      Any Rumors About Why This Search/Viewing Happened ?

      Is Joran In Aruba ? Or Out On a Promotion Tour ?

    58. Carpe Noctem on May 12th, 2007 7:30 pm

      I hope and pray each night
      that they kick these boys
      right in the effin ruck sack
      and give them no peace,
      until they find out what
      they did with her!

      Natalee wasn’t mean,

      she was a sweetheart.

      They need to bring
      her on home, even if
      it is simply just the truth
      of what they did to her.

      Natalee is loved here.

      This is Natalee’s house.

      She is our HEART.

      The time has come

      to bring her on home.


      Home is where she

      needs to be. -j4n

    59. kitty on May 12th, 2007 8:20 pm

      I have her picture right here … showing on my lap top ~ wanna see where she is?

      X marks the spot~ under my chair?

    60. david r on May 12th, 2007 8:38 pm

      “What was the name of that porn site?”

    61. k on May 12th, 2007 11:55 pm

      Dear Diary: I’m such a good liar, even Greta believes me.

    62. boywonder on May 13th, 2007 9:02 am

      “It’s really not very hard out here for a pimp”

    63. vicki on May 13th, 2007 9:06 am

      @60- it is bangbus…

    64. Michelle Says So on May 13th, 2007 8:54 pm

      Here’s a caption:

      “My future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades….”

    65. joran on May 14th, 2007 3:30 pm

      Ok Ok I did it PROVE IT!!!

    66. mary on May 14th, 2007 4:55 pm

      Was the concrete dud up at the VDS House

    67. Jon on May 15th, 2007 1:14 am


    68. ScottK on May 15th, 2007 9:12 am


    69. Brenda on May 15th, 2007 12:04 pm

      Since oil and water do not mix, I’ll stay out of the water to avoid having to ask daddy to clean up my mess after the fact.


    70. Brenda on May 15th, 2007 12:05 pm the hell DO I turn this laptop on…just gotta watch the latest porn download.


    Leave a Reply

    Support Scared Monkeys! make a donation.

    • NEWS (breaking news alerts or news tips)
    • Red (comments)
    • Dugga (technical issues)
    • Dana (radio show comments)
    • Klaasend (blog and forum issues)
    E-mail It