RSSCaption Contest: Al Gore & Leonardo DiCaprio from Oscars
Caption Contest: Al Gore & Leonardo DiCaprio from The Oscars
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48 Responses to “Caption Contest: Al Gore & Leonardo DiCaprio from Oscars”
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This is my energy bill for my Belle Meade, TN mansion … its clearly states I only use 19 x’s the amount of a normal household, not 20.
Leonardo… On this piece of paper holds the formula I used to create the Internet!
Leonardo… Is it just me or is it hot in here?
{Gee… Maybe I’m right and there really IS global warming}
Shads I tell ya, shads!
Al Gore: Teach me to ride like a man.
Leo: And chew tobacco like a man.
Al Gore: And spit like a man!
Leo: What, they didn’t teach you that in TN at the Tabacco farm?
RED
Hey Leo, I’M the king of the worldddddddddddd!
Leo: When I grow up I want to be just like you, except with Giselle by my side.
#6 … hahaha
R
LEO: AL! You’re so stupid. Why did you do that, huh? You’re so stupid, AL. Why did you do that? Why?
GORE: You jump, I jump, right?
LEO: Right.
GORE: Oh God! I couldn’t go. I couldn’t go, Leo.
LEO: It’s all right. We’ll think of something.
GORE: At least I’m with you.
LEO: We’ll think of something.
R
Leo I heard Reagan, Nixon and Clinton were on the Titanic.
The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.
Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.
Reagan shouts: “Women and children first.”
Nixon goes: “Screw the women.”
Clinton replies: “Do you think we have time?”
… then on the seventh day I rested.
Here’s my check for $15,000…..can I have my STAR on the walk of fame now?
#10!
Good one… LOL!!!
Leo: You retaining water? Damn you look bloated.
“LOCKBOX”
Moments ago I received this telegram!
Next season I WILL be on Dancing With The Stars!
Leo … LOOK!!!
I just won a ticket on Titanic
This paper is indisputable proof that my career should not be buried in the Bahamas!
Leo, you don’t have to get snippy about it! I won damn it, no need to go all “hanging chads” on me!
On this very paper is the proof that my mommy used to sing me the Union Label lullaby when I was young.
R
(for those that have forgotten this Gorism gaffe, look HERE and reminisce, lol.)
Leo! This damn girdle is killing me!
Bush, table for four.
What makes you think I wrote a thank you speech?
……………Mattell announces the new GI Gore and his handsome buddy Leo “ken” Dicaprio. Complete with interchangeable chins, tuxedos’s and really cool removable patent leather shoes. Each comes with an intel mini disc, you can even record you own speeches! Think of the hours and hours of fun you will have. Call over a friend and play the day away. And wait theres more, way more, in fact there is the inconvenient truth, you can mix and and match with your Barbie Doll set.
You say no way? We say WAY!
Don’t delay, shop today or order online. After all GI Gore invented the internet. Oscar Statue and Academy awards stage play set sold separately……….
Y-E-S! I knew there was big money in this global warming crap!
Al: Oh no, my thong underwear is starting to ride up
Suddenly Leonardo DiCaprio realized that he was actually standing next to a cardboard cutout of Al Gore.
No wait … It is actually really him, my bad.
R
Damn it Leo! How many times do I need to tell you the electric bill stays in the lockbox?
Dam-it Leo look another fallin chad
Look Leo I am serious about running for President, here is my profile for weight Watchers.
“Look Leo this is the foot print of my baby carbon”
Gore: “Leo, Bill Clinton even hit on me and tonight I have proof right here in this picture, er I didn’t want to wear the frilly yellow gown, but he was president and he ordered me, but that’s not the point, the point is before global warming, I had bubba warming and believe me…
Leo: Mr Gore, you are about to give your speech sir.
Gore: right, right
PS stop with the zero plus one confirmation question. why not make us answer Keynes mathematically determinable propensity to consume. Now let’s see C = consumption and .91 is the statisically derived propensity to consume, no wait, Psalm 91? He who waits in the shelter of…no wait, scratch that, and add the 7% solution, no wait that was Arthur conon Doyle, so C = propensity to consume and then there was an aggregate demand with is Yd, or is that Yoda?
No that was Lucas, not Keynes, the 1970′s were a confusing time…now if an algorithm is 91 (Get it Al Gore Rythm, heh – heh)
Give me a second, we carry the one, then divide by…..
OTTAWA (AFP) – A former Canadian defense minister is demanding governments worldwide disclose and use secret alien technologies obtained in alleged UFO crashes to stem climate change:
http://tinyurl.com/2ub94g
Al:
and now I’m going to demonstrate how I use just one sheet of biodegradable tissue to wipe my fat backside.
Leo:
damn I gotta try this next.
My old boss just sent this email, asking where he could get his globes warmed. Said it was still the Ice Age in his bedroom.
“Hey Leonardo, watch me fly not only privateless, but planeless.”
“I believe you Big Al, tethers clear, blimp-off.”
You see, Leo, I was counting on being President for my Retirement Fund. When that fell through, I came up with this Global Warming Scam. I can invest money in stocks in green companies tax free and am sure to make billions!
It’s sort of my revenge on the American people for their failure to electe me instead of Bush for President.
And the appreciation I will get from China alone will make any retirement I might have received from being President look like peanuts.
Here, let me sign you up for some of those carbon off-sets! You might even want to start a company of your own, get in on the ground floor.
We will all be billionaires before the UN can say Carbon Tax the Rich Only — that would be the U.S. of course!
Leo looks at Al and thinks to himself …
“Ya know I never really listened closely to what he was saying … Al you are one crazy, friggin, lunatic SOB.”
2. Harry
I REALLY LIKE IT!!!
Thanks to all for your contributions to the Captions Contest. They are all great and … gave me my laugh for the day.
.
I wish I could come up with something … as everybody knows this opinionated Grandmother is not usually at a loss for words.
“Oil Can, Oil Can!”
Leo, isn’t it strange that there are some people out there who can only find the bad in the good things I do, but they don’t say a word when Ann Coulter comes right out and publicly calls someone a faggot? It really makes you think about how politically motivated some people are…that they consistently bash one party no matter how much good is coming out of it while protecting or failing to speak out against a conservative biggot merely because she has been a central figure in speaking out on behalf of the Republicans.
#40 Jaime … your sense of humor is about as good as Al Gore’s. How lame are you?
Get a friggin sence of humor …
We bash hypocrits and those that defend them … like yourself. What is your carbon map? Hmm?
#40, I see you have typical Liberal listening skills. Ann Coulter said she was NOT going to discuss Edwards, etc. She did NOT call him anything.
OTOH, Bill Maher certainly did say that he wished the assassination attempt on Vice President Cheney had succeeded. That would be far, far more serious than calling somebody a name, wishing their death on them. But I have yet to hear one Liberal denounce him for saying that. They’re too busy worrying about Ann Coulter calling Pony Boy names.
Al Gore trying to sell carbon offsets through his own company and make a bundle off this bogus crap he has come up with is certainly NOT doing anything good. He should be arrested. I surely hope the FBI is investigating him for conflict of interest and outright fraud right now.
Climate is cyclical–always has been and probably always will be. Solar flares and orbit through the universe cause global warming, not Rev. Al or any other humans.
Al is saying to Leo,
“I sold some of them on that ridiculous story that I invented the internet so this Global Warming should be a piece of cake.
Some fools even believed me when I said Tipper and I were the subject of the book Love Story! Never mind the author said I was lying. I have a long history of being a pathological liar like that. My own state didn’t even vote for me for president because they know all the lies I have told my whole life.
These idiots will believe anything! I’m gonna be rich!! Rich, I tell ya! And to think I started my carbon offset company with money I made cheating the indigent people of South America through Occidental Petroleum!
I learned big time swindle from my Godfather, Armand Hammer the communist industrialist who traded with the Soviets during the Cold War when it was illegal. He was Al Sr’s bestest buddy.
Good thing, too, since I flunked out of law school and then Bible College! I ain’t too good at that book learnin’.
But no matter how stupid I am, there’s always somebody stupider! Now how many offsets can I put you down for Leo?
Leo, Leo, Leo! How many times do I need to tell you? Aruba is NOT the wonderful vacation spot you think it is. I have the proof here!
#40 – You have to be kidding. Even your conservative friends spoke out against her for her slur against Edwards. It’s like I said before…you only see attacks against Democrats on here…If Kerry had said it, you’d have a comment frenzy.
Sorry, I meant to direct that at #42.
Leo: Ah ha! In order to avoid total and utter embarrassment of losing another Presidential Election, Al Gore turned himself into a wax sculpture.. and brought his electric bill with him! Oooo.. how realistic!
You rock Leo! I swear you do!I look up to you
Leo dicaprio rocks! Global warming is a serious issue!!