John Szwalla, Is that a Banana in Your Pocket or Are You Just Here to Rob Me?

In the immortal words of Dr. Ruth Westheimer who visited my college campus as a guest speaker back in the day … “Sometimes a banana, is just a banana.”

File this one under the crime shallow end of the gene pool.

17 year old John Szwalla held held up an internet cafe in Winston-Salem, NC saying he had a gun and demanded money. The store owner and a customer jumped the would be robber and wrestled him to the ground until police could arrive.

There is just one problem … Szwalla did not have a gun under his shirt, but a banana instead. It gets better, the teen ate the evidence prior to the police getting to the scene. When police arrived, they took pics of the banana peel.

Szwalla is charged with one felony count of attempted robbery, possession of a deadly banana and using fruit in the commission of a crime. Shouldn’t he be charged with destroying evidence as well? Some one may want to check the local Piggly-Wiggly to see if they can’t get him for shoplifting the potential banana used in the crime.

9mm Banana – fruit as a weapon

Szwalla is in the Forsyth County Jail with bond set at $50,000. The bond could have been set at $50, this clown is going no where. Szwalla was charged yesterday with common-law robbery by the Davidson County Sheriff’s Office. Is there a charge for complete stupidity as well?

Rumor has it that Szalla will be referred to asfrom now on as “Con-szalla” on cell block D.

9 Responses to “John Szwalla, Is that a Banana in Your Pocket or Are You Just Here to Rob Me?”

1. Scared Monkeys on May 16th, 2009 4:44 pm

   Wait til this dude gets to prison and the real banana jokes begin.

   He will have wished that banana was loaded.
   R

2. HOPE on May 16th, 2009 6:56 pm

   Red:

   I think the lib is:

   Is that a banana in your pocket?

   Or are you just happy to see me?

   

3. Scared Monkeys on May 16th, 2009 7:10 pm

   #2 of course it is … but that would not have made a good title.

   I used a little poetic license.

   R

4. HOPE on May 17th, 2009 1:50 am

   Red:

   A song for you…

   http://new.music.yahoo.com/luis-miguel/videos/view/o-tu-o-ninguna–157429023

   

5. katablog.com on May 17th, 2009 8:01 am

   error in your text: “saying he had a gun and defended money”. Think you meant “demanded”.
   ___________________________
   SM: I corrected the typo, thanks! (klaasend)

6. Bobsley on May 17th, 2009 12:34 pm

   I’d like to see a picture of this cunning criminal.

7. Chikkkkeeennnnn on May 20th, 2009 7:19 pm

   I don’t think you would want to see him. He used to go to my high school until he dropped out. Your imagination is probably spot-on.

8. Three Monkeys Racist … More Foolishness from the Liberal LEFT … Obama Ad with Racial Undertones, GET REAL! | Scared Monkeys on November 30th, 2009 8:16 pm

   [...] Left … in the immortal words of Dr. Ruth Westheimer, “sometimes a banana, is just a banana.” Wow, a banana reference. Oh, can’t you just wait for the accusatory racist [...]

9. Sophia Lucas on May 2nd, 2011 8:36 am

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