RSSKidnapped NC Twins Tyler Lee and Holly Ann Needam Found Safe in Canada
The 17 month old twins, Tyler Lee and Holly Ann Needham have been found safe in Canada after having been kidnapped by their biological mother. Allison Lee Quets has been arrested.
For the full story go to Missing & Exploited.
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9 Responses to “Kidnapped NC Twins Tyler Lee and Holly Ann Needam Found Safe in Canada”
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This is such a sad story.
I don’t want to offend anyone, but I really feel for the biological mother in this case. In a world of abusive parents and exploited children, this one really takes the cake.
We have a new mother who is concerned about her ability to care for her children and, low and behold, up pops the answer to all her prayers: The Needham’s. I don’t know the legalities of this supposed adoption, but obviously it consisted of an agreement between the parties for an “open adoption” situation. You know, one of those private adoptions that consist of not much more than a cruel, legal way to exploit naive single mothers into giving away their children along with their parental rights. I’m not saying that the biological mothers are perfectly innocent in this, but, obviously she was not that serious about breaking ties with the children in the first place, otherwise she would have chosen “closed adoption”.
Let this be a lesson to us all. There is no “easy” way to give your child away and once it’s done, it’s hard to get undone. No matter what someone tells you about how they care for and sympathize with you, taking away your parental rights leaves you with out a leg to stand on. It is literally impossible to recover. If anyone approaches you with an opportunity for you to have your cake and eat it, too; beware. If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t.
These are lovely children and even with as much as a person would love to look into their bright, shining, smiley faces everyday, exploiting them AND their biological mother is not the answer.
The Needham’s and all those like them need to leave other people’s children alone.
Hi Patti,
While I respect your opinions exactly what do you do to children whose parents may be unfit for raising them….warehouse them somewhere hoping their parents straighten out.
What did the Needhams do wrong? They adopted children they wanted to love…I have read nowhere where it states they mistreated these kids. Perhaps they couldn’t have kids of their own…is it so wrong to want to adopt these kids when their mother decides to give them up?
I respectfully disagree with you on this one….the biological mother did commit a crime and I don’t see how one can blame the Adoptive parents for it unless I see proff they were indeed abused…as I said there is no proff of that as far as I have read.
Um Patti, why didn’t Allison’s sister, Gail step up and say “no, Allison, I’ll help you manage with twins”. She certainly has a lot to say now that she’s getting her 15minutes. Doesn’t it seem like a the biological mom has some mental issues? What I have read indicates that the biological mom sought out the adoptive parents. How convenient, allow someone else do do the hard work with babies because you simply can’t be bothered and then reclaim them when they are old enough to be cute. If she didn’t want to put them up for adoption, she shouldn’t have jerked the adoptive parents around. Even parents who ARE serious about adoption frequently pursue open adoption so that they can allow their children to receive info about medical issues and a sense of who their genetic ancestry is.
I have real doubts about the mental capacity of this woman to raise children even if she were given custody. If she IS given custody, she should be required to reimburse the adoptive parents for the cost of raising the children to this point – as well as the value of the sleepless nights for the first months of their lives. I had twins and believe me the first 3 months are very, very difficult, even when you are young and have parents and grandparents to help.
I’m guessing you’ve never met an entitlement that you didn’t like. No one owes you or biological mom ANYTHING.
Jen: I know nothing about this case, in particular, I simply stated that I feel for the biological mom. How sad it must be to be able to see your children, just as you said, right when they are getting to be really cute and know that you have signed your rights away a long time ago. Adoption is a very difficult thing to do and my only advise to any and everyone was simply that if you are not ready to give up your rights, that have been given to you as a gift from God, then you don’t relinguish those rights for anybody (period).
As far as your statements regarding entitlements… no I have not turned my nose up to anything that I may be entitled to as anybody that lives in the real world is more than willing to admit, good times fall on the good and the bad, and vise-versa. Who are we to judge. But some of those entitlement programs, that you so loosely refer to, are there to help such people and for good reason. Do you honestly think that this would be the first woman with questionable mental capacities to have a child?
The truth of the matter about me is that I have done alot to help those families, that could at one time or another include you or I, to give their sons and daughters the opportunity to make a choice about their lifestyle; especialy those on the edge of getting in trouble. I suppose that you would call it another entitlement program, but, in this case, it was just a bunch of caring and loving people willing to contribute their time and share their expertise; besides, in many cases it worked.
My comments were directd to the countless number of women that are presented a rosy picture about adoption when everyone knows that adoption is final; and that the truth about mothers is that they never want to share their babies with anyone…
As far as needing one’s records in the case of an emergency, I believe that all adoption agencies agree: the records of adoption should never be sealed. But that was not what I meant by “open adoption”. This adoption, obviously, was one that allowed the “birth” mom certain mothering rights… and that rarely ever works. Why? Because the adoption of a child is also a gift from God and, as I said in the beginning, it’s final.
Mike from Maryland (?)
You ask the most difficult questions.
First of all, I am not aware of any abuse in this case and did not mean to imply that there was. But exploitation, well, there may have been a little bit of that. While people like the Needham’s have every right to seek out the adoption of a child, many times “open” adoptions are, quite frankly, frowned upon because of the problems that soon result. However, many people hire attorneys and seek out those mothers that would probably never, under normal conditions, give up their children. They offer them an unrealistic opportunity that, by its very design, is doomed for failure. The result in its worse scenario is what we see here.
As far as warehousing unfit parents? Well, I hope we have not gotten to that point. There are resources available for those that need help… provided that they are not made to feel guilty about reaching out for it, as it could be defined as an entitlement, it is there.
While I know that there are really bad parents out there, I tend to focus on the possitive. I’ve lived in some of the richest and the poorest countries in the world and have come to realize that there is no cookie-cutter image for a good parent. Some of the best mothers I’ve ever seen were those that lived in Mexico; in spite of the fact that they were uneducated and living way below the lowest of all poverty levels. I have seen children of retarded parents grow up to be perfectly sound in body and mind. I have also seen many, many parents with so-called “mental problems” do a complete turnaround and come to find themselves in their children.
I don’t have the answers, I only know what’s right for me. People are going to have children, some of them deserving and some of them not. There really isn’t too much we can do about that, other than being supportive and helpful in any way we can.
I knew I was going to get into trouble commenting on this one (smile)…
Patti,
This qoute “The Needham’s and all those like them need to leave other people’s children alone” kind of made me think you were angry at the Needhams….perhaps they thought that they may have been helping this mother and still allow her visitation…who knows the complete arrangement?
I wasn’t speaking of warehousing parents but kids…where do they go when their biological parents can’t care for them? Seems to me that adoption is a great idea in this case…The kids get parents that love them and take care of them and the Biological Mom has a tremendous burden removed from her.
I say lets wait and get the real facts of this particular case…if we ever do…before we makes comments on the Needhams or the mother.
BTW It was a Beautiful Day here in Maryland today
Mike from Maryland:
You’re right. But as far as getting the facts, or finding out about the particulars… I’m sure this is as far as this case is going to go. The Needham’s shall return to their home in North Carolina, while Ms. Quets shall remain in custody for kidnapping, what were once, her children… end of story.
Nice little “open” arrangement for ya (shhhh it’s private)
imo the fault lies with the judge who allowed this case to drag on. by allowing the biological mom to keep hoping that she’d eventually be granted custody or that the adoptive parents would eventually win the case it was the children who paid the price.
how confusing would it be to grow up in this tangled web?
“Quets had bore the twins by in-vitro fertilization for the Needhams and after giving birth, wanted to keep the twins for herself.” This is the first I have heard of this.
I have to agree with a few points mentioned above. This woman saught out the Needhams not the other way around. Also I agree if Gail the sister was so supportive why didn’t she offer to help?
Now about the quote if it is true than the woman was not interviewed enough before she became pregnant. She was not in the right mental state to be doing this.
As for the twins themselves, I am tired of seeing little kids world’s getting torn apart. If a child is given up for adoption and they have been with the new family for over a year than it is a done deal. If these twins were taken from their adoptive family they would never be the same again. Their sence of security is with that family. They feel safe and secure with them. It is not about the birth mom but THEM. Time and again we see how some adoption was messed up and the birth mom gets her baby back and the kids are very young children and then we see how they are a mess 5 to 7 years later. I am married to an adoptee and have done quite a bit of research on adoption just so I can try and understand him. Do i feel bad for the birthmom? Yes, but it is too late now.
Also what in the heck is the Canadain Border people doing letting this woman in? When I travel by plane or car to Canada (as I am married to a Canadian) I always have to produce a letter signed by my husband saying I have his OK to take the kids across the border.