Portland Pimp Sirgiorgiro Clardy Sues Nike for $100 Million for Lack of Warning Label That Shoes Could be Used as Dangerous Weapon After Beating John with Air Jordans

IT’S GOTTA BE THE SHOES … File this one under, and you thought you had heard it all, subtitled, ‘Pimpin’ Aint Easy.

A Portland, Oregon pimp, Sirgiorgiro Clardy, has filed a $100 million lawsuit against Nike. This fool is actually making the claim that Chairman Phil Knight and other executives failed to properly label his Air Jordan’s as dangerous weapons and is partially responsible e for a brutal beating of a “John” where as a result he was sentenced to 100 years in prison. Clardy was wearing a pair of Air Jordan’s when he attacked an 18-year-old woman he forced to work as an escort and repeatedly stomped the face of a john who was trying to skip out on a trick without paying Clardy’s prostitute in June 2012. I guess it is good he didn’t have his Timberland’s on, he would have been tried for murder. Clardy filed his suit this week in Multnomah County Circuit Court and will be representing himself.

Jurors early in 2013 found him guilty of second-degree assault for using his Jordans — a dangerous weapon — to beat the john’s face to a pulp. The man required stitches and plastic surgery on his nose.

The jury also found him guilty of robbing the john and beating the 18-year-old woman he forced to work as his prostitute. She was injured so badly that she bled from her ears.

In his three-page complaint handwritten from the Eastern Oregon Correctional Institution in Pendleton, Clardy claims that Nike, Chairman Phil Knight and other executives failed to warn consumers that the shoes could be used as a weapon to cause serious injury or death.

“Under product liability there is a certain standard of care that is required to be up-held by potentially dangerous product …” wrote Clardy, who is representing himself. “Do (sic) to the fact that these defendants named in this Tort claim failed to warn of risk or to provide an adequate warning or instruction it has caused personal injury in the likes of mental suffering.”

As expected, Clardy has quite the past criminal record. See you in 100 years!