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December 01, 2005

Aruba Tourism Takes On SAD

Posted in: Aruba,Beth Holloway,General,Natalee Holloway

**************** SATIRE WARNING ****************

According to Travel Weekly, the brave new tourism initiative that is coming out of Aruba is a package to help those afflicted with SAD. Unfortunately, this is not a program that is designed for Monkeys who have watched and wondered about the island nation and their Dutch counterparts handling of the Natalee Holloway disappearance. Instead it is designed as a marketing effort to try to those who are suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

So as we were in our editorial meeting today, we decided to help out the Aruban Government and reach out a little. We felt that if they were in need of new ideas, we were the ones to help. So here are Scared Monkeys recommendations to the Aruban Tourism board to help market the island.

MAD Package – Missing Affective Disorder – A hotel package that is designed to work with families of missing persons with special time set aside with Aruban government officials. This will make them much more appreciative of the work their local law enforcement is doing.

BAD Package – Beth Affective Disorder – This package is for Aruban and Dutch officials who are exhausted with managing Beth Twitty. They will be given lessons in how not to return calls, give misleading advice, provide vague and diffuse reassurances that all is being done.

CAD Package – Criminal Affective Disorder – This package will be held in Holland on a University campus. It will provide a safe haven for those that do bad things to tourist during their stay on Holland, but have influencial parents that can manipulate the system for their own reward.

TAD Package – Texas (Equusearch) Affective Disorder – This interesting package will take a persons good intentions and provide so much interference and subterfuge that they will lose all patience. Trips to the Aruban Government offices will work on developing patience while watching Aruban officials do all in their power to not fulfill their requests. This course will be offered very rarely, as these same officials will be taking advantage of the BAD package noted above.

If you have any other recommendations for the Aruba Tourism Bureau , leave a comment, or send it to the tourism board. They would appreciate the help filling hotel rooms this winter.

**************** SATIRE WARNING ****************


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