Someday I Hope to Write One Paragraph

As well as James Lileks.

From Todays Bleat:

My wife needs a new car, since the old one is shedding parts. Most of the sensors have gone out – she has to use the Force to figure out how much gas she has, and the last time she had her oil changed the technician informed her that she had chosen an excellent time to replentish her supply, seeing as she had no oil. When you turn the wheels it screeches like Fran Drescher being fed into a wood chipper, and the brakes make sounds that make dogs fall over and bleed from the ears. It’s a 1996 Cirrus. It’s tired. If you take your hands off the wheel it automatically points itself to the nearest glue factory.

Fran Drescher in a wood chipper. That is an image that will stick in my head forever.

James is brilliant, and he gives it to us for free every day.