Joran Van der Sloot to Write Book … I think we can help him with a book title.


So Joran Van der Sloot plans to write a book. Who knew he could  write, because he sure enough does not seem to be able the recollect the truth. Dutch publisher Sijthoff   has bought the right for this upcoming book. Rather telling how no American publishing company would touch this rag with a ten foot pole. Wonder if that has anything to do with the civil law suit in the US that is pending?

Dutch publisher Sijthoff has bought the exclusive rights for a book about the disappearance of US teenager Natalee Holloway on the autonomous Dutch island of Aruba last year. Journalist Zvezdana Vukojevic has based the  book on statements made by the main suspect, Dutch teen Joran van der Sloot.   It will be published in 2007.

With Joran Van der Sloot’s version of what occurred in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway, I guess we can look for it in your local book store or on in the fiction section. Maybe the publisher will create an on-line, interactive book, where you create what statement and evidence that you wish to chose? Much like the many versions of the events that Joran Van der Sloot told the ALE. Which version will the publisher use, wait until 2007.

They claim that the book will be published in 2007; however, you do not have to wait that long as we have what we think may be an actual  idea of what the book should look like.

Pimp’n & Porn for Dummies

Joran Pimp Porn

(Hat Tip Picture: Klaasend)

In all reality what earth shattering revelations is Joran Van der Sloot going to bless us with? You mean there may actually be a new truth that he has not shared with the ALE, the prosecution or the media? Say it isn’t so. You, withhold the truth, never.

Just wondering Joran but are any of the chapters going to deal with how its possible to meet, greet, talk and leave with a girl you have never met before in less than 30 minutes while your accomplice is already in the get-away car with the engine running? Then again, you have done this 20 times before … so you must be an expert. Do tell how you manage to accomplish such a coup?


Are you going to explain in a chapter how an American teenager who had been drinking all day and you managed to have do a 151 proof rum shot was able to stand, let alone be the aggressor while you were the poor victim of her sexual advances? You remember, the girl who was falling asleep and then waking up in the back seat of Deepak’s  car. How exactly is one an aggressor when they can barely keep their eyes open?

Maybe you will also share with us why after having been in a car with Natalee Holloway in the back seat with self described statements of  ”groping and kissing” that you would go home and watch internet porn of such sites like Now that seems rather coincidental doesn’t it? What are the odds that someone would go to a very site with the description of what they are  accused of doing?  What was this, a training manual of how to associate and take advantage of drunk American teen tourists on their last night of vacation in Aruba or to watch and use as a comparison to actual events? Do tell.

Maybe you can also provide some insight in how not to contract computer viruses while surfing porn. We heard that happens from time to time, so maybe you might use a chapter for informational  purposes to other wanna-be Pimps.

The fact that this “primary suspect” plans to make money off the disappearance of Natalee Holloway is repulsive and disgusting.  Joran  Van der Sloot plans to get rich off of bad behavior. All this while  hard working Arubans are suffering through a terrible economy caused by  the loss of tourism because of the position that Joran  Van der Sloot, Deepak and Satish Kalpoe have put them in. He expects and plans to make money of a missing, presumed dead Alabama teenager. What a class act.

For all those people who find this completely without taste, decorum or conscience … there is still time to refund those plane and cruise tickets. For the last person to ever knowingly be seen with Natalee Holloway and who has lied during the investigative process to make money off these actions is reprehensible. The fact that he has stated that he will no longer talk to the ALE or the prosecutors office, but rather write a book instead is telling. No one can ever confuse the term “class” and Joran Van der Sloot, that is for certain.

It is hard to imagine that this is the advice that his parents or attorneys would give Joran. Then again, who would really know at this point. Joran Van der Sloot does his best to keep himself in the media eye. Aruba, you have no one but Joran to blame for that. Aruban officials have kept tight lipped recently … and then a long comes Joran and his book deal. Nice image to promote that you are somehow innocent.

Aruba, WAKE UP. Your predicament is not going away until this type of nonsense is stopped. Arubans suffer while Joran gets rich at your expense. Makes all the sense in the world. Now Aruba can expect more of the same bad tourism through 2007. It will not stop until Aruba takes this seriously and provides Justice for Natalee.

Joran Van der Sloot … you are not a victim … YOU ARE A SUSPECT.

Add your own book titles in the comment field for Joran.

If you liked this post, you may also like these:

  • Patrick van der Eem, Man Who Befriended Joran van der Sloot, Signs Book Deal in Natalee Holloway Disappearance
  • Tell-All Book from Prison, Admission or more BS? … Joran Van Der Sloot Promises New Details Of Natalee Holloway Case In 500-Page Book (VIDEO)
  • Patrick Van der Eem in Aruba for book & Aruban Prosecutors Want to Question him in Natalee Holloway Case
  • Beth Holloway’s Book “Loving Natalee” Now Available in Dutch … Lieve Natalee
  • Joran Van der Sloots Interview on NOVA; The ever changing story

  • Comments

    One Response to “Joran Van der Sloot to Write Book … I think we can help him with a book title.”

    1. Brendon on October 15th, 2006 2:36 pm

      Joran’s new book title: “Dollar in-Justice for Dummies: how to commit and finance the perfect crime”

    Leave a Reply

    Support Scared Monkeys! make a donation.

    • NEWS (breaking news alerts or news tips)
    • Red (comments)
    • Dugga (technical issues)
    • Dana (radio show comments)
    • Klaasend (blog and forum issues)
    E-mail It